so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
