plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize