woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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