This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize