It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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