Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
