And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
