Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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