She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
