I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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