based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
