arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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