I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
