Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
