you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize