So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
