You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
