Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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