Dual....:-)
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
