Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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