if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
