Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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