Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
