Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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