Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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