I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We need to rekindle our bromance
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
