You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
