He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
