Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
