She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
