she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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