I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
