You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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