so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
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