youre lurking in front of me
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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