he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize