I'm lost and stupid without you.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i think i have herpe
just one?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
