k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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