Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
