Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Its about making memories worth repressing
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Randomize
