so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
