Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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