sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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