Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
