I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
