The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
