I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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