I feel like abortions should bother me more
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I can't put those talents on a resume
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
