But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
