i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
