Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i think i have herpe
just one?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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