Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
