You really coming over, don't trick.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize