my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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