I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
