I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
