xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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