Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
