Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
