Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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