i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
