I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
