I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
