Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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