drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
so much tequila, so little girl.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize