Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
