I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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