She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
