omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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