so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
