also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
