You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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